This must be a pretty darn good week seeing I am serving two posts. Thing is, August has been quite the month. It has been a time for me to stop sitting pretty and to shake things up. I am so glad I finally got the guts to do something ballsy. I reckon I could stay in this safe zone and keep whining or I could grow some balls (YES I SAID BALLS) and learn how to fly. Yeah pretty difficult choice’ I know.
Life is one complicated puzzle. Sometimes I sit and wonder if there is someone out there who really has it all together…maybe Iyanla Vanzant’ Deepak Chopra and those self-help gurus. Do they really have it together or are we all just trying to be? I don’t know about them but what I know for sure is that I haven’t had it together since God knows when. I may act and look like it but heaven knows I am so lost and broken. God is wonderful. Because I wake each day, I smile and show the world that am okay. I know it really doesn’t matter how lost I may feel at times because one day I will find my way home. (Home; here is a metaphor; for finding me)
If you have been an ardent reader of my blog then by know you know I love a good rant. Though I would hate to be that kind of person who rants on the regular so am taking time to stop for a minute and smell those roses kindah like trying not to get caught up in this cycle. Next week I turn freaking 26 (yep) don’t let the body size fool you. I am a grown lass. Last year I turned the big 25 (in my head; one should have figured out what they are by then)…I still felt I hadn’t. This past year has been one of a kind; with the blog, family, friends and life. I have had to sit and make some bold choices because I felt I couldn’t hold out any longer. I dint want to be that girl that sat and watched as life passed her by. I couldn’t live with myself years from now looking at how little I ‘d accomplished just because I was scared to test the waters so I made a point to stir things up.
I have no freaking idea what is out there and yeah I am scared as f*** but if I don’t try I will never know. In Chris Brown's song 'Don't judge me' he says’ ‘ it could get ugly before it gets beautiful…’ so am living by these last words and hoping that chapter 26 moving on upward could get ugly…but please God; please by all means possible …let it get beautiful.
It’s true that we can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. So yeah those days are bound to happen but let the bigger picture be incredible. I am sitting here typing away because I feel like there is so much I want to say but I have to hold back. Something’s are better kept to yourself but I hope someone reads this and feels like they could go out there and live. This blog as I may have mentioned a kazillion times will always hold a dear place in my heart. It is because of this little avenue offered by Google that I actually lived as corny as that may sound. I must admit I have been cheating on my diary a lot with this blog because I feel like I have a voice here. It may not be major one but I speak to someone regardless.
In my moments of solitude I find myself coming here and getting that happy feeling back into my life. So taking some time off from it will be helluva hard thing to do but something’s gotta give Gotta work on what I feel is missing then probably catch up with y’all. Once in a while I’ll do a post but I aint making any promises. To my followers I appreciate the love so much. I really do. You believed in me. I hope I get better once am back on and I hope y’all will stick around.
In Justin Timberlake’s mega hit Mirrors he says ‘yesterday is history ‘tomorrow is a mystery’ and these words resonate with me. Tomorrow is untold, all we do is hope that it turns out okay. Our yesterdays have all but stopped and are neatly put away. All that’s left now is a brand new day, brand new choices, brand new vision and a brand new us and it is up to us yes ( I speak in general here) to make tomorrow count and to ask God to let it be beautiful.
Moving on..my post today was supposed to be about Nairobi Fashion Week but being the chatty Cathy that I am I got carried away. (Virgos speak their darn minds) lol.
NFW was one word; exhilarating. (Saying more will be total absurdity; let the pictures speak for themselves)
Quick S/O to the guy that made it happen ‘James (I owe you big time) it was truly beautiful!
|all white everything; my favorite collection|
|kente magic....missed the ankara jumpsuit i so loved'|
|pretty amaze night'|
|I sure hope so..|