Monday 2 December 2013

A NEW KIND OF HAPPY




 Hey lovely people,

first of my heartfelt apology for being so M.I.A for the last couple of months. yours truly has been on a soul searching journey as corny as that may sound. the past few months have been this blur...me figuring out what i really want, who i really am away from home; away from the only family  i ever knew. i stepped out into an unkown zone ....blindly not knowing what was in it for me and all i had was faith; buckets of it and a dream. 

its been close to three months now and altough its really hard to keep it together at times. i am getting by just fine. i thank God so much for giving me a mum who not only believes in me but one who would go through hell and high water to see to it that am ok. being far away from her and my sis has hit me hardest but in this  life we gotta make sacrifices. we have to go for whatever it is we feel is out there or lest keep wondering where life would have taken us if we dared to dream a little dream .

i am quite the dreamer; and a pretty unrealistic one at that. i imagine all this things happening around me and wish i could grasp a minute of that kind of magic. reality does hit me hard on some days,
; days when i question if dreams do really come true, days when i wonder whether it was really worth it leaving an ok life to go chase that grand imaginary one i had but on such days i find my strength in knowing that i serve a God who makes things happen; he has been my biggest motivator and this alone time has brought me closer to him in ways i cant explain.

it would be so careless of me not to mention a few peeps also who have basically been my lifeline for the past months and whom i hope i do for what they do for me. My confidantes and cheerleaders;' kadita, lucy, momy, sissy. "vi ringrazio tanto signore. ti amo sempre"

anywhos am still a fash diehard, going a lil easy on the sprees given my situation but i still try and get my shine on ...still love my music ;Emeli Sandes "imagine" is my get up and go kind of jam, and of course shows that kept a girl alive, devioius maids and mistresses [God this mama dramas will be the death of me] 

Thing is i have found a new kind of happy away from everything that ever mattered a couple of months ago.i am happy here and really looking forward to seeing where this journey takes me. being the free spirit i am; I've discovered some really insane places where i go to get that happy feeling back in my life incase it runs out like this safe haven called Kola Beach Restaurant at Mambrui in Malindi. "if heaven is a place called earth".....yeah its all that and a bag of chips. On matters love {soulmate is still out there somewhere....email him to me when you find him} but a girls been having some fun waiting for him "i don't kiss and tell" lol

so i leave y'all with snippets from a relaxed Sunday with my heroine miss Kadi;she does clean up real good and yours truly all maxed out and my voice of reason Emeli Sande 'Imagine

xo lovies 

p/s thank you.each one of you who reads me. i heart you so








you may say i am a dreamer
but am not the only one ' 
















miss Kadi takes a dip..
 
Imagine Emeli Sande
 Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try.
No hell below us, above us only sky.
Imagine all the people, living for today.

Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too.
Imagine all the people, living life in peace. (Oooh, oooh, oooh)

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you will join us, and the world will be as one.

Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can?
No need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man.
Imagine all the people, sharing all the world. (Oooh, oooh, oooh)

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you will join us, and the world will live as one.

Monday 16 September 2013

WAITING TO EXHALE AND BIRTHDAY WEEKEND


Love Island ... such beauty

feeling all touristy and stuff
Hello munchkins,

okay okay...i know i promised i was gonna stay away, really i was, but the lure of a blank page won me over and here i am writing away at God knows where. if memory serves me right, i promised i was gonna check in with y'all just so know am alive and kicking..lol so this is me doing exactly that ; checking in.

these past few weeks have been a daze. you know how sometimes you are so freaking happy you keep waiting to see if its all been a dream and you might wake up at some point and its all gone. Ring a bell; well something like that.

i don't know whether its because for the first time in a long time i faced my fears or its all thanks to the peace and quiet around me but whatever it is{i can gladly say without a shadow a doubt that i am in a happy place} i do know something is bound to steal my new found joy but am soaking it all in while it lasts.

my 26th birthday was too freaking awesome.  i cant sum it all up but i can try *lol
  • my pal Lu is the biggest highlight;she made it happen and i cant thank her enough
  • meeting warm people who've been so kind to me s/o Kadita and Lydia
  • winning a bottle of crisp white wine with Lu at karaoke...yaaasss
  • our duet singing Smooth operator and Hit the Road Jerk (epic)
  • discovering amazing sites, eateries the whole shebang
  • long solitary walks that allow me to connect 
  • general feeling of peace; being one with body, mind and spirit 
these are just a few of the things that are getting me there to the Zen state of mind. so without further ado i leave you with snippets from my birthday weekend which was one word ; legendary* and amazing bits of the soundtrack to the movie 'Waiting to Exhale

i had the time of my life....
Lucy rocking that floppy...
    Sometimes you'll laugh
Sometimes you'll cry
Life never tells us
The when's or why's
When you've got friends to wish you well
You'll find a point when
You will exhale

love my Dorothy Perkins easy breezy shoes
  
at Gedi Ruins..

nice pose miss Lucy'
strolling in Watamu

faboosh{

happy much

isn't her bag gorge much...ikr

that colour block is fierce...Love it


birthday night;we turnt up,..all the way

the girl with the floppy

birthday outfit..Polka play-suit;


easy breezy..beautiful day

Hearts are often broken
When there are words unspoken
In your soul there's
Answers to your prayers
If you're searching for
A place you know
A familiar face
Somewhere to go
You should look inside yourself
You're halfway there 


feeling so alive..


footprints in the sand......

 
beach posing..

beach posing 2...

beach posing 3


xo loves...poem moment

Waiting To Exhale........
 

Waiting to exhale.
To catch my breath,
on my pillow lay my head.,
here alone on this bed.

To close my eyes,
and drift away,
Away from my reality.
seeking the elusive tranquility.

To not think of my sorrow,
of my coming tomorrow,
I am here waiting to exhale.

I clear my mind,
Try to unwind.
My heart beating faster in my chest,
I can not sleep,
I can not rest.

Yet I go on, turning my head,
the past I must shed.
A new life to begin,
Here in this tired skin,
I wait and wait,
to see what comes of my fate.
I am waiting to Exhale.

Thursday 29 August 2013

NFW TURN UP & CHAPTER 26; LET IT BE BEAUTIFUL....






Hello loves’


This must be a pretty darn good week seeing I am serving two posts. Thing is, August has been quite the month. It has been a time for me to stop sitting pretty and to shake things up. I am so glad I finally got the guts to do something ballsy. I reckon I could stay in this safe zone and keep whining or I could grow some balls (YES I SAID BALLS) and learn how to fly. Yeah pretty difficult choice’ I know.


Life is one complicated puzzle. Sometimes I sit and wonder if there is someone out there who really has it all together…maybe  Iyanla Vanzant’ Deepak Chopra and those self-help gurus. Do they really have it together or are we all just trying to be? I don’t know about them but what I know for sure is that I haven’t had it together since God knows when. I may act and look like it but heaven knows I am so lost and broken. God is wonderful. Because I wake each day, I smile and show the world that am okay. I know it really doesn’t matter how lost I may feel at times because one day I will find my way home. (Home; here is a metaphor; for finding me)


If you have been an ardent reader of my blog then by know you know I love a good rant. Though I would hate to be that kind of person who rants on the regular so am taking time to stop for a minute and smell those roses kindah like trying not to get caught up in this cycle. Next week I turn freaking 26 (yep) don’t let the body size fool you. I am a grown lass. Last year I turned the big 25 (in my head; one should have figured out what they are by then)…I still felt I hadn’t. This past year has been one of a kind; with the blog, family, friends and life. I have had to sit and make some bold choices because I felt I couldn’t hold out any longer. I dint want to be that girl that sat and watched as life passed her by. I couldn’t live with myself years from now looking  at how little I ‘d accomplished just because I was scared to test the waters so I made a point to stir things up.


I have no freaking idea what is out there and yeah I am scared as f*** but if I don’t try I will never know. In Chris Brown's song 'Don't judge me' he says’ ‘ it  could get ugly before it gets beautiful…’ so am living by these last words and hoping that chapter 26 moving on upward could get ugly…but please God; please by all means possible …let it get beautiful. 


It’s true that we can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. So yeah those days are bound to happen but let the bigger picture be incredible. I am sitting here typing away because I feel like there is so much I want to say but I have to hold back. Something’s are better kept to yourself but I hope someone reads this and feels like they could go out there and live. This blog as I may have mentioned a kazillion times will always hold a dear place in my heart. It is because of this little avenue offered by Google that I actually lived as corny as that may sound. I must admit I have been cheating on my diary a lot with this blog because I feel like I have a voice here. It may not be major one but I speak to someone regardless. 


In my moments of solitude I find myself coming here and getting that happy feeling back into my life. So taking some time off from it will be helluva hard thing to do but something’s gotta give Gotta work on what I feel is missing then probably catch up with y’all. Once in a while I’ll do a post but I aint making any promises. To my followers I appreciate the love so much. I really do. You believed in me. I hope I get better once am back on and I hope y’all will stick around. 


In Justin Timberlake’s mega hit Mirrors he says ‘yesterday is history ‘tomorrow is a mystery’ and these words resonate with me. Tomorrow is untold, all we do is hope that it turns out okay. Our yesterdays have all but stopped and are neatly put away. All that’s left now is a brand new day, brand new choices, brand new vision and a brand new us and it is up to us yes ( I speak in general here) to make tomorrow count and to ask God to let it be beautiful.


Moving on..my post today was supposed to be about Nairobi Fashion Week but being the chatty Cathy that I am I got carried away. (Virgos speak their darn minds) lol. 


NFW was one word; exhilarating. (Saying more will be total absurdity; let the pictures speak for themselves)

Quick S/O to the guy that made it happen ‘James (I owe you big time) it was truly beautiful! 

Xo Sue


turnt up..







all white everything; my favorite collection



 

kente magic....missed the ankara jumpsuit i so loved'



 




 








pretty amaze night'

I sure hope so..